When Dating Someone Feels Like You're Dating No one

It happens. You've, seemingly, been dating someone for a month or two, yet it feels as though you're dating no one at all. You begin to feel as though that other person has lost interest in you, and subsequently, you gradually turn off those faucets of emotions in fear of your rendezvous coming to an abrupt end. In my personal experience, I have found it off-putting when the person I'm dating behaves in a way that is antithetical to the archetype of a significant other (whatever significant may mean to you). You're left in limbo. You don't know whether to discuss this with that person because you don't want to seem attention-seeking, yet you don't want to waste your time on something that is not going to metamorphose into something of value and worth.

Reciprocation and reassurance are very important when you're dating. Now, I'm not saying that you should expect that man or woman to constantly shower you with cute sayings or text you hearts and kisses every hour of the day. In the context of dating, reciprocation means the act of exhibiting simple gestures that another person displays to you. If you are very affectionate, romantic, and enjoy speaking to your counterpart in an intimate manner, then you have every right to expect a semblance of that in return. When that other person exhibits the traits of a wall, then there may be an issue. If you're treated as though you're the receptionist at the dentist's office, rather than a person who has (in your perspective) been a somewhat important part of his or her life, then it is time to have a conversation about the person's intentions. If he or she has lost interest in you, and rather not continue dating you, then that needs to be made clear. Too often we are trapped in pointless predicaments, and no one deserves to feel as though they are not good enough or as if they've given so much for nothing in return.

Dating requires two people (unless you're a polyamorist, then more power to you and your crew!), and it should never feel as though you're dating no one at all. If you're experiencing this situation, please discuss it with the person who you're dating. I know what this feels like, and it is not fair to be subjected to such emotional turmoil. The mind is connected to the heart, and you should not wait until you experience a shift in your mental foundation to make a change.

The Mind and the Heart: Partners in Crime?

Are the mind and the heart (the all-encompassing vessel of emotions linked to intimacy, romance, pleasure, etc.) truly distinct entities? This is a question I seek to answer. As a student of psychology, and more importantly, as a human being who possesses the capacity to feel a range of emotions and think critically, I have found this to be an intriguing topic.

Most adults have felt what they consider to be love (an enigmatic emotion I will address in future posts), and unfortunately, most adults have faced what we call heartbreak (even that term is so depressing, huh?). Given that most of us have experienced the aforementioned, we are well-aware of the explosion of emotions and subsequently the mental metamorphosis they could bring.

A common phrase we hear (or a derivative of it) is, "Think with your brain, not your heart." But what does this actually mean? How can we divide the emotions that make us human from the mind that also builds our personality? Through this blog, I hope to shed light on some of the issues we experience within the world of intimacy, and how those issues relate to the mental well-being of a person. Let's take a journey to the mind of the heart.